Last week I covered a few types of bullies. Today I have a few more for you. While most people recognized the kinds of bullies I listed last week, I’m sure there may be dissension with the ones listed below. These are bullies that most people don’t think of, or have been called other names in the past. I am calling them out for what they are. Bullies, those who enjoy the pain the inflict.
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- Workplace
- Customers
- Parent’s cliques
- Hate groups
- Do they specifically target certain humans from exclusion in activities? (for example: Pagans, Blacks, Gays, Christians, Whites, Men, Women, etc)
- Do they work to undermine certain human rights? (The right to live, work, be happy, be free, marry, etc)
- Do they think of themselves as above the law and/or above basic human rights? (Or even above some sort of religious book they use as a shield?)
- Politicians
- Spouses and family
- Indifferent people or “innocent bystanders”
Normally it is a boss, or someone with ambitions to climb the ladder to the top. The workplace bully will pretend to be your friend, or even partner, then steal or ideas and downplay your role in projects behind your back. They will convince you that you are worthless, then go and take credit for all your ideas.
Or, they will be the ones to harass you for the way you dress, your skin color, your gender, or anything else they decide they don’t like about you. But they do this in private. There may be a few of their close friends around, but you can bet their boss isn’t listening. Should you complain to your boss, the coworker comes up with the amazing story about how you have been doing to him what he has been doing to you. Yup, the tables have been turned.
Sadly, most people are told to “suck it up” and “deal with it” when it comes to workplace bullying. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn’t stay in the workplace. There are time that it follows you home, your family’s well-being gets threatened. This is no small problem, friends. This behavior is unacceptable, and often the result of previous behavior similar when the bully was in school. (Yes, bullies do grow up to be bullies. Amazing, right?)
“Customers are always right.” A LIE. I am not a god, nor am I always right. I do not wish to be treated that way. Neither are any of you gods. Unless, of course, you really are. In which case let me take a moment to say I’d really like to have a long talk with you about the state of the world.
Moving on, customers can be even more evil than many of the other bullies listed. But they never do see to be included in these lists. Why? What is it that civilization thinks that they become so god-like when the have money in hand? We’ve all heard the tales, and we have all seen them. Perfectly nice people become horrid monsters once they have money and are standing in line at McDonald’s.
You are NOT that special. Nor are these customers who bully their ways through lines, degrade the person behind the counter, then proceed to bitch at every tiny movement they make, claiming everything is wrong and that the employee is being stupid “on purpose”. Or how about the customer who refuses to leave a tip for their overly friendly waitress because they learned last week that she was a lesbian? Or those people yelling at the elderly black cashier lady because she’s too slow in the express line? Normally it is the customers with 50 cans of tuna doing the complaining too.
The point is, all of these people weigh down on the employee. They begin to believe they are worthless and in turn begin to turn either increasingly morose, or increasingly angry. But this bullying seems to have become socially acceptable, and even encouraged by some people.
I’m going to say it and I’m going to have too many people jump down my throat: SOCCER MOMS. When I call someone a Soccer Mom, I am NOT speaking specifically of those moms who happen to have children playing soccer. No, for me the term has become synonymous with bullies. Why? Because I was a football and baseball mom.
Parent’s cliques are not just a problem, they are also the
SOURCE of many of the problems. These parents get together and tell tales of how wonderful their children are, and purposely exclude parents who either don’t measure up to their standards or have children who don’t measure up. The Soccer Mom complex does not just include the Caucasian parents either, I have seen the same complex in other races, and have seen some cliques of mixed races.
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How many of you go to PTA/PTO meetings? Few do these days, and I know it isn’t always because of time constraints. I have seen my own FATHER pushed out of the social circle by these cliques. Why? Because he was a single father, and I was a fat intelligent girl. We didn’t measure up. The problem is that they often own the PTA/PTO, the coaches of teams, and even the leaders of the Girl and Boy Scouts. If your parent isn’t lucky enough to be part of the clique, you are unlikely to have any of the best coaching, or the best opportunity for advancement. In school, your thoughts are likely to be ignored. And the children of these parents are often the bullies of the kids who are not in these groups. Not always, but often.
I have news for you, your kids see how you behave. They hear you talk about that lady down the street. They know that her husband left her for someone prettier. And now they have that ammo to torture her kids with.
Your kids mimic you. If you are part of a bullying group, they will often do the same.
Kudos to the kids who defy this. You are the strong ones. And Kudos to the parents who, like me, openly defy them. Yeah, by the way, I was the freak who wore all black to the football games, and carried the bag full of crochet to work on. Yup, I heard you talking, and laughed.
Did you think I would leave them out? Please! The KKK and the Neo Nazis and assorted groups aimed at HATE of another living being are included. They are all bullies. These groups have the sole purpose of silencing another.
Before you even ask, yes, terrorists belong here too.
Any club, group, or gang can be a hate group, and can be called bullies. NOT ALL. Here is the test:
If you can answer yes to at least two of those, then they can be included in this category. I’m sure I have missed some aspects. The point here is that hate groups are bullies. They even go so far as to murder, which brings their bullying into levels of insanity. Their sole purpose is to cause harm to others simply because they have the mistaken belief that they are better than everyone else.
This does NOT include police! For the average police officer, their role is to prevent bullies from harming others. There ARE police officers, however, who use their position to the detriment of all the others who serve. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE BAD. Be careful in your hatred of those bad officers; do not become a bully yourself. While the officers responsible for dragging the rest down with them are evil, they are the minority. Just as the Christians who wear white hoods are the minority. ‘Nuff said.
You didn’t think I’d let them slide, did you?
Oklahoma had a state congresswoman introduce three bills into the state congress that would allow anyone to discriminate against the LGBT community. Unfortunately, Indiana’s governor just signed into law a similar bill. All over the world there are politicians who use their status for the sole purpose of causing pain to others.
As with any other group, I do not include the whole. However, politicians do indeed have power over us. To make it worse, as Americans, we are the ones who gave them that power. I beg of you, Americans, register now to vote. Vote in every election, or run for office yourself. Let us work together to get the bullies out of office.
Included in this group are also the big corporations that flood the politician’s pockets in order to get laws written in their favor. This is not limited to any one political party, nor is it limited to federal government. Even in small towns this pay-off is present. These corporations use their money and power to influence the politicians, to bully them into voting in their favor. Many a good man and woman have fallen to this, and many more will continue to as long as our system permits it.
Also called: domestic violence, child abuse, molestation, emotional abuse, passive aggressive parenting, and assorted other titles. It all boils down to bullying. The person who hurts you has some sort of power over you. The husband gets called “pussy whipped” by his peers, but they have no clue how violent his wife is. The child gets taunted for being so dependent on their mother, but they have no idea the way she berates them for every tiny mistake.
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Familial bullies will use those assumptions to their favor. They will twist and pull until all that is left is a nightmarish twist on the word family. Too often it is either the spouse or children that take the brunt of this abuse. Sometimes, however, it is the aunt or uncle, or even one or more of the grandparents. Even cousins can be bullies. There is no limit here, and the forms the abuse can take are just as varied.
By far, the scariest bully of them all. The one who sees it and does nothing, says nothing. It is one thing to know your enemy, but when you are in a group setting and you look around for some sort of help and see nothing but indifference… That, my friends, is the most helpless, hopeless, and twisted sort of nightmare.
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By allowing the bullies to continue to bully, we are indeed being bullies ourselves. Every single time someone is being hurt and we allow it, we are acknowledging that bully’s dominance.
Those of you who know me personally have seen me using the #bullyingstopswithme hash-tag. I encourage everyone to stand with me, now, by sharing these bully blogs out and adding that same hash-tag. Next week I cover why bullies feel the need to behave the way they do.
If you’re just coming into the middle of this series, I encourage you to start from the beginning:
#bullyingstopswithme
#nohate
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