Monday, March 16, 2015

Bullying: Part One - Definition


Bullying is a subject I’m rather passionate about. So much so that I will be devoting a bit of time to this rather large subject. I want to make things clear first: I am not a doctor. I have no medical or psychological degree. I have not done any medical or psychological research into this. I will site my sources when I use outside sources, but most of what I speak of is from experience. Since this is a subject so close to me, I have very strong opinions. Feel free to comment, but know I will delete any comments from trolls. I won’t allow bullying on my page, nor will I allow anyone to belittle another. I welcome open discussion for either side of the story. I enjoy discussing differing opinions, and welcome different views.

bully
[boo l-ee]

noun, plural bullies.
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic. a man hired to do violence.
3. Obsolete. a pimp; procurer.
4. Obsolete. good friend; good fellow.
5. Obsolete. sweetheart; darling.

verb (used with object), bullied, bullying.
6. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
verb (used without object), bullied, bullying.
7. to be loudly arrogant and overbearing.

Adjective
8. Informal. fine; excellent; very good.
9. dashing; jovial; high-spirited.

interjection
10. Informal. good! well done!

bully. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bully (accessed: March 11, 2015).

Source
Bullies are everywhere. We grew up with them as kids, sometimes we were the bullies ourselves. We deal with them as employees, customers, even family. But with all the information out there, too many people still don’t understand what bullying is, and who the bullies are.

Plain and simple, a bully is someone who forces their opinions and morals on someone they feel is weaker or less than others. A bully can be anyone, regardless of gender, age, or any other distinguishing factor. They can bully openly, or passive-aggressively. They can be physical, or it could all be mental/emotional attacks.

The one thing they all have in common is some insane need to better themselves by belittling others. They prey on others in order to make themselves feel special in some way. They thrive on pain, and strive to obtain some twisted goal of being the best.

Let me makes this clear: Bullies are cruel assholes who have little better to do than continue to be as they are.

Bullies can change, though. People can change, and quite often do. But not always.

But the biggest problem we have isn’t necessarily the bullies. It is identifying the bully behaviors and preventing them before they occur. We can’t do this until we understand exactly what a bully is. I went to Google to see what they had on the definition of “bully.” What I came up with is listed above and below. Three different anti-bullying groups and three different definitions sit below. All three fail to include the wide scope of these behaviors.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Definition of bully. Stopbullying.gov. http://http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/ (accessed: March 11, 2015).

The WBI Definition of Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :

Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done, or
Verbal abuse

This definition was used in the 2014 WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey. Its national prevalence was assessed.

Definition of bully. Workplace Bullying Institute. http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/definition/ (accessed: March 11, 2015).

My final example holds the least amount of authority, though does the best filling the widest scope of bullies possible.

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability.

Source
Definition of bully. Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying (accessed: March 11, 2015)

I think it is time we get together and form our own definition. Take some time and think about it. Then let me know what you think the definition of a bully is. Take a moment and fill out my form: What is the definition of a bully?

Next I will cover types of bullies. Until then, may love and light shine upon you!



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