Blogging From A-Z: A is for Anxiety

Taken from The Social Anxiety Institute

The Current DSM-5 Definition (of Social Anxiety):

A. A persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be embarrassing and humiliating.

B. Exposure to the feared situation almost invariably provokes anxiety, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally pre-disposed Panic Attack.

C. The person recognizes that this fear is unreasonable or excessive.

D. The feared situations are avoided or else are endured with intense anxiety and distress.

E. The avoidance, anxious anticipation, or distress in the feared social or performance situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.

F. The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is persistent, typically lasting 6 or more months.

G. The fear or avoidance is not due to direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., drugs, medications) or a general medical condition not better accounted for by another mental disorder...

Source

So today is day one of this blogging challenge. I am suddenly glad that, as I write this, it is not yet April. (Yay for me.) Anxiety is something that is difficult for me to discuss. Why, you ask? Because if there was only one of my diagnosis that I could just make disappear and be instantly better from, it would be this one. Its something new for me, to be honest. It is something that I have not dealt with since I was a teen, or longer.

I hate this feeling, this anxiety. I hate it with a flaming purple passion. Its like a layer of filth that I just can’t scrub off, or a layer of slime that won’t budge. I’d have to say that me knowing my fear is so completely illogical and nonsensical only makes it worse.

What has made me this way? I’m not sure I can pinpoint it to one particular incidence, but rather it was a whole host of bad experience that just collapsed on me. I think the medication I was on made it worse, but its still there. The docs even have the proof of it when my blood pressure is taken.

I’m not the only one who deals with this, nor am I the only writer. Just look at the list of authors I have found, simply by Googling:

• Emily Dickinson
• Anne Tyler
• Charlotte Bronte
• John Steinbeck
• Michael Crichton

That’s the short list. Google truly is a fount of information on writers and their mental instabilities. That is not to say there is anything wrong, far from it. It just shows that there are more out there than you realize that live with anxiety. These people didn’t allow that anxiety to stop them from continuing to create.

Creating characters with anxiety can be quite easy, and can sometimes be quite accidental. When you sit and think on it, how many characters out there are created with anxiety? Here’s a brief list:

• Piglet, from Winnie the Pooh
• Bashful, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
• Chuckie Finster, Rugrats

I interviewed Author Sheri Velarde about her character, Aimee, from Music and Awakening. “She is different (a shifter whose eyes seem to give her away) so she mostly avoids contact with people, she's a shut in most of the time until music and a musician pull her out.”

Her need to write Aimee’s story is admirable, truly. Sheri herself deals with her own issues, but wrote Aimee “because I think so many people suffer from it. They think they are different and will never fit in (of course she is a shifter with weird eyes, so not exactly the norm) but how sometimes, something as innocent as music can pull us out of our shells and help us truly live. The music is what calls to her at first, then that makes her want to risk going out to see who puts that much emotion into their art.”

And such is the way with many living with anxiety. Sometimes there is that one thing that can give us just enough courage to try. Not all the time, but in fiction, there are rarely absolutes. Even Piglet got courage now and then.

Author Torie James was helpful in giving insight from a family member's point of view. Her sister, also an Author, was diagnosed with anxiety 6 years ago. Torie said "once she was diagnosed, I took it upon myself to research as much as I could. I knew I'd end up being her unofficial life coach and I wanted to have knowledge so I could help her without being condescending or unaware. I wanted to be her safe place, so to speak. No judgement...just love and help. Medications for her were prescribed but they didn't seem to help and she was really scared of becoming addicted and refused to take any more. I cant say my life has changed since her diagnosis. I knew something was wrong long before she finally caved and went to the doctor."

"I think its made us a LOT closer than we already were, if that's possible," Torie continued. "I've always been her protector, that's my job as a big sister, right? Work is the worst for her since Walmart is chock full of people. so I make sure to keep my phone handy for texting and help her wind down once she gets home." 

Torie also has advice to all those who have family members diagnosed with anxiety. "Never ever act as those with such a disorder are 'faking' it or that's it not as serious as depression or those with bi-polar. Its just as bad and requires a gentle but firm support system. so many peeps act condescending about this disorder. the best thing you can do is just listen. the afflicted person isn't asking for advice, they are looking to unload more often than not. usually after work, I do my best to make her laugh as much as I can. it calms her down a lot."  

It is no easy task to write a character with something as complex as anxiety. This is perhaps why so few characters display these traits without some other contributing diagnosis such as PTSD or depression.

When creating a character with anxiety, try “to make it understandable to people who don't have anxiety,” Sheri suggests. “I have suffered from anxiety myself, and some people will just not get it. Will say just go out, its no big deal. But it is a big deal. It was hard to portray just how hard it was for Aimee to go out to a club and be amongst others, just to listen to music. It was a huge hurdle for her.” And that is the hardest part; portraying how difficult it is to live with such feelings.

If you don’t have anxiety yourself, it is difficult to write it. Even if you do, it involves reaching down inside yourself to realize what the problem is and how it is affecting you. If you don’t have anxiety, nor have anyone close with whom to base the character, “research it. To know that it really is harder than many people think, that it can truly immobilize someone, take them out of society if it is bad enough. That people saying get over it, go out, go to the store, its not a big deal are so missing the point.”

Don’t be afraid to add the depth of mental instability to a character. Even a character who can’t seem to be around a gender can be a interesting one. (Big Bang Theory) People are rarely perfect, and there are more people out there living day by day with bigger issues than they appear to.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I have not taken any classes, nor do I have a degree. I am writing this from my standpoint based on my personal experiences and research. I beg of you, if you think you may have anxiety, speak with a doctor immediately.

No matter what, suicide is not an option. If you are thinking of harming yourself, seek help. Talk to a doctor, go to the ER, or even call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255


Find Sheri Velarde's Music and Awakening at Amazon or All Romance eBooks. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and her blog. Find Torie James on Facebook, Twitter, and her blog. Get her books at Amazon,  Barnes & Noble, or Breathless Press.