Sunday Recap 5-3-2015

I am going to try to do a recap every Sunday covering everything that happened the previous week. I won't be perfect, I'm sure, but the point here is to try.

This past week has been rather tame, to be honest. I've been depressed, dragging ass and unable to do more than take care of my little Princess Kitten. Which sucks, really, because I have so much I want to do. Fortunately for me, I have friends who are there to kick me around. I just have to remember (and force myself) to ask for help.

That is where the problem is, I believe. Asking anyone for help is paramount to admitting I suck. I'll admit it, I tell myself that I do indeed suck way more than I should. Positive thinking has already been proven to not work for me. I can't quiet the negativity in my mind. Unfortunately, it reflects in my writing, or lack of writing.

In true rapid cycling bipolar fashion, though, I found myself surfing a high today. Oh what I have gotten done! I have plans for this blog, but you may not see the results of all this work for a few months. Why? Because I want to get a few months of work done before I start posting it, that way I can be ahead of myself for when I have down days.

Keeping this in mind, I have things I need from you, my dearest readers. I have three blogs at this time, and will have a fourth soon-ish. In case you are knew to my flavor of (in)sanity, let me recap those blogs.

Nightmares and Chocolate is the blog you are currently reading. This is my literary blog and covers everything related to writing and my voyage to becoming published. This includes the occasional (in)sane posts about metal health in its relation to character development and writer coping methods.

Through Twisted Darkness is my mental health blog. Plain and simple, I cover all things mental. This is where I go to release my inner demons on the world, as well as communicate my path through therapy. It is my hope that this blog helps others to seek help and to be more open in their lives as they struggle with their own demons. My life is an open book here, and I make no apologies for my own thoughts and opinions.

Magical Adventures of Princess Kitten is my daughter's blog. I cover her journey through life and the struggles we have while coping with her HFA and ADHD. I cover topics relating to parenting, autism, ADHD, and even the magical imaginings of my daughter. This is her blog, though I am the caretaker of it. I hate trolls, but I'm even more strict on this site since it is hers.

Any Witchy Way will be coming soon. This will be a blog dedicated to witches by witches. I plan on having it written by as many people as I can. I want this blog to become a safe haven to all paths under the Pagan umbrella. I seek to educate and inform one and all about Paganism and its many forms, beliefs, and practices.

Why give all this information out? Because I need your help! Every Tuesday I will be allowing someone to take over my blogs. No, not all at once, I'm not looking for anyone THAT specific. What I need are authors to take over one or more of my blogs. I need those who want to do these takeovers to fully understand the theme behind each one, and then be free to write whatever they please within those parameters. This is a way for authors from all genres and walks of life to reach out to another audience and to get free publicity.

I'm also looking for random posts from anyone who may have something to say, but don't currently have anything to publicize. This includes random people who are dealing with mental illness or those who are relatives of someone dealing with a disability of any sort. I'm not wanting these stories to make money, I am wanting these stories to show all those who have issues to know they are not alone. I want both happy and sad stories. (I'll kiss the boots of someone who can write a post about addiction or drunk driving too!)

Finally, I am looking for questions from all of your for each of these pages. Each Saturday I will be answering your questions either as a blog or a vlog. (I need to find a way to set up my camera for a vlog, until then it'll be blog only for me, and vlog for Princess Kitten.)

So, help me please? Share out this post so I can get the word out to as many people as possible. Not just on your fan pages, but personal pages as well. If you can help with questions, post them below. Be sure to tell me which blog you are asking for, otherwise you'll get the answer here. If you want to ask/respond anonymously, contact me on my Facebook page and I'll get back to you ASAP.

Love and light to you all,
K Perrin

Blogging from A-Z: F is for Fear

Phobias technically begin with a “P”, but I am putting it here so I can use the letter “P” for something else.

Source

I have already covered general anxiety and social anxiety, but there are so many other anxieties out there. These, according to the DSM 5, are listed as Specific Phobias. (OCD, another anxiety related diagnosis, will be covered later.)

The DSM-5 criteria for a specific phobia are:

• Marked and out of proportion fear within an environmental or situational context to the presence or anticipation of a specific object or situation
• Exposure to the phobic stimulus provokes an immediate anxiety response, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed panic attack.
• The person recognizes that the fear is out of proportion.
• The phobic situation(s) is avoided or else is endured with intense anxiety or distress.
• The avoidance, anxious anticipation or distress in the feared situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.
• The new DSM-5 criteria states that the symptoms for all ages must have a duration of at least 6 months.
• The anxiety, panic attack, or phobic avoidance associated with the specific object or situation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder.

It is not all in your head! I hate seeing people say that. Yes, the fear is irrational, and it is a mental mindset that gets it there. However, phobias have biological effects on a person. These are real, measurable effects that can be noted in the presence of that fear. Increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, even the presence of adrenaline in the blood stream. The fear cause harm not just to the mind, but the body as well.

That said, phobias can be of almost anything. The ones we hear of most would include clowns, spiders, flying, and more. (Don’t get me started on flying clown spiders!) However, there are more phobias out there than I could even begin to count. The guy who runs this phobia list started in the 80’s, and it is still growing.

It is no fun thing to be phobic. It is one thing to say you are arachnophobic, but an entirely different thing to be so phobic that you can not function. Being scared is one thing, but being phobic means taking it a step too far. “You want to go to the pet store? No way! There’s spiders there!” Phobics will stress out, trying to avoid the object of their phobia. “Does that pet store have spiders? I don’t want to go to any place that has spiders. Like the attic. The attic is full of them. I swear they are going to mass reproduce and attack me one day. OMG I need a new home before the spiders in the attic get me!”

No, I’m not trying to be funny here, I am trying to portray the way the phobic mind thinks. Worry or anxiety is typical of phobics, as are panic attacks. Many of us have seen a panic attack in someone, but few people understand what it is like to be in the middle of them. For me, it is like the entire world is closing in on me and the object I am currently panicking about. I see that object as not just one, but hundreds or thousands of them. “That spider is staring at me. I swear, it is looking at me and wondering what I taste like. It has babies, I know it does, and if I step on it the babies will explode out and consume me on the spot for vengeance.”

My breath shortens, because I truly feel the lack of oxygen around me, as if whatever it is I am focused on has now stolen the very air. My pulse speeds, and I freeze. Fight or flight no longer exist. “OMG, if I turn and run it’ll jump on me. But if I step on it I’m good as dead too. I can’t move.” But I’m fortunate. I’ve got the mind that can’t focus on one thing for long. Because at this point I start thinking, “Blink and you’re dead.” If you know why this is significant, then you fully understand why my brain starts flipping through other quotes and I end up grabbing a can of hair spray to kill the spider. (No, I don’t flame it. I find that hair spray keeps the beast from running, and traps the little babies well too!)

Not all people are like me (thank the heavens!), some just freeze until they pass out or are rescued by someone. In any case, the panic attacks are real, and are not so easily overcome. (I’ve actually improved my arachnophobia to the point where I can allow small spiders to live, though the big ones still freeze me.)

I would normally speak of how to write a character with phobias at this point, but there have been so many books, movies, and television shows involving phobias that I find it almost laughable. Phobias tend to be the go-to for many authors, and I find it almost a cop out in writing. Mind you, there are still good books being written involving phobias, but there are many farces as well.

However, should you decide to take on a phobia for a character, I beg of you to research it well. Look at all the angles of it, and speak to people who have that particular phobia. Learn their stories, break into their minds and find out what their anxieties are. Ask them how it feels when confronted with the object of their phobia. Ask them how they cope. Then take all this information into mind when you put yourself in your character’s shoes. Feel the panic, feel the sheer terror of the situation. Don’t make a mockery of the phobia, but don’t be afraid to crack a joke now and then either.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I have not taken any classes, nor do I have a degree. I am writing this from my standpoint based on my personal experiences and research. I beg of you, if you think you may have a Phobic Disorder, please seek help from a licensed doctor.

No matter what, suicide is not an option. If you are thinking of harming yourself, seek help. Talk to a doctor, go to the ER, or even call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255