NaNoWriMo Week Two Duldrums

NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month

That is, if you didn't know already.

This year is the first year I am doing this NaNo, and I am hoping that the novel I am writing during it will eventually get published. It would be pretty awesome, don't you think so?

Well, Raven's War: Earth's Light has gone further into its development because of NaNo than I have ever been able to take it before. Unfortunately, with that progress comes an increased fear of the result. Is the book going to be good? Am I going to be able to pull off what I am intending to? Will it even get looked at by and agent?

I am so very new to all of this, and have been researching, asking, and learning so much. I know its a tough world out there, and that breaking into it can take years. I'm most definitely not expecting instant results. I wouldn't mind instantaneous gratification, it would be a welcome change of the norm for me! But is this really a good idea?

Well, I'm 25,000 words into this book. I am expecting to cut a few scenes, and expand some others. Much as I have been doing with this blog post! But I can't seem to shake this depression. I feel so alone while writing this. Yes, I'm on that wonderful website chatting it up with people all over the world. I have learned, however, that all the people in the world just can't replace a few people near me cheering me on.

I'm pulling my hair out here, trying desperately to get a little confidence. When your own father doesn't seem to care whether you succeed or not, it begins to feel like it might really be a lost cause. After all, don't daddies know best?

I have to find some way to get out of this funk. A completely non-productive day just isn't acceptable. I'm losing my lead here. Words in an a blog just don't count. All I want to do is curl up and contemplate the worthiness of the words I have already written, and the need I have to release the rest of the story into words on a screen. In other words, I want to curl up and cry.

Tomorrow will be a better day, right?

K Perrin
Raven's War: Earth's Light